Scars of the Mind and Body
by Fullmetal Guitarist
Summary: [discontinued & disowned due to excessive OOCness and general suckage]
1. Prolog

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters from the show or manga. If I did, Naruto and Sasuke would kiss a lot more often. The

plot is mine, even if it is mainly an excuse to write lemons.

* * *

Sasuke slipped on his headphones, and music carried him away from reality, even as his dragging footsteps carried him home after yet 

another pointless mission, another step closer to nowhere. The mission had succeeded, yes, but what was the point? It was all the same

thing, the same stand-offs and sneaking around, tailing this person and protecting that. And none of it even really brought him any closer to

avenging his family. Not that he cared about that anymore. If Itachi was going to leave him and his friends well enough alone, it didn't

matter. His teammates weren't exactly great friends either, Sakura and Ino just wouldn't take no for an answer, and Naruto... Naruto was

something else.

It wasn't that Sasuke found the blonde genin annoying, and didn't think of him as inferior, in fact Naruto was getting to be almost as skilled

a ninja as Sasuke, and he made up for what he lacked in skill and talent with heart. The problem was, Naruto hated Sasuke, but Sasuke

loved Naruto. From that first quick, accidental kiss, he'd slowly been falling in love with the blonde troublemaker. There was something

about the shorter boy's innocent, honest manner and manic energy that Sasuke just couldn't resist. At first, he'd had some hope that

Naruto loved him back, since it had seemed like he enjoyed that kiss, but as time wore on, he realized how much the smaller boy hated

him. Why was it that the only person who didn't want his love was the one person he wanted to give it too? It didn't matter, though.

Naruto hated Sasuke, but Sasuke loved him, and that would never change.

Sasuke was nowhere near home now, off in the woods, but he just kept walking. The exercise turned his despair turned into a feeling of

raw energy, not anger or fear or frustration, not even necessarily negative, just an overwhelming need to _do_ something. As he got more

fatigued, Sasuke entered a trance-like state of moving meditation. He let himself get lost in the feel of the ground beneath his feet, the music

pounding in his ears, the cool air against his skin, and the bleak colors of the overcast sky. He had been walking for ten minutes or so, not

paying any attention to where he was going, when he saw a tattered, unadorned spiral-bound notebook lying on the ground. Curious, he

stooped to pick it up. Reading a few pages revealed it to be a great find; it was Naruto's diary!

* * *

A/N:This is the first fanfic I've written. Obviously, this is just a teaser/prolog, but there is more written, waiting to be typed. Constructive 

criticism is much needed, and if anybody has ideas for a better title, please say so.


	2. Revelation

A/N: I will probably be updating once every month or so. I write plenty in class at school, but I have to type it in my free time at home, so it depends on how much homework I have. I'm also working on FMA and Yu-Gi-Oh oneshots, so this story might take a while.

Vulpes Velox: Thanks for pointing out that I was spelling his name wrong. Now I have to re-teach myself how to spell it right . .

Warnings for this chapter: Masturbation, graphic flights of fancy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I do, however, own the plot, the nice little bits of fluff, a cat and several dust

bunnies.

* * *

Sasuke woke up, then promptly rolled out of bed and flopped on the floor, bruising his side painfully. He groaned something incoherent as

he rolled over onto his front, slowly opening his eyes. For a few minutes, he just lay there, not wanting to move at all. His muscles were

incredibly sore from that last mission; he had thought he'd have to run forever at the end there. Finally he groaned again, then stood up and

stretched. Bright morning sunlight fell on his bare, lightly muscled chest, his dark pink nipples erect in the cold air. The dark-haired teenager

was clad only in blue-and-white plaid boxers, revealing almost every inch of his smooth, pale skin. He yawned, and then padded sleepily

into the bathroom. He was glad it was Saturday so there was no training today, he was exhausted.

Once he got into the bathroom, Sasuke paused to look into the mirror for a moment. Staring sleepily back at him was a boy of about

fourteen, with eyes the color of dark chocolate and straight black hair framing his face in a sleepy halo. Sasuke had to admit that he _was_

good looking. He splashed some cold water on his face and rubbed his eyes before running a hot bath for himself.

As the bath water ran steaming into the tub, the pale boy pulled his boxers off and tossed them aside. As he lowered himself into the hot

water, he breathed a sigh of relief. That felt _really_ good on his sore muscles. He sat in the tub for a few minutes, just letting himself soak off

all the dirt and sweat and tension from the last week. As he soaked, he mused about Naruto, and wondered what was in the diary he had

found. After he had soaked until his soar muscles stopped complaining, he scrubbed himself clean and got out of the tub.

Sasuke drained the tub and started rubbing himself dry with a towel as he walked back into his room. He didn't like to put his clothes on

until he was mostly dry, so he lay naked on his bed, idly running his hand over his stomach. As the Uchicha heir let his mind wander, his

hands moved lower, and started to lightly stroke and squeeze his cock and balls.

As his cock got gradually harder, Sasuke focused on pleasant memories of Naruto. He thought about that accidental kiss when he was

twelve, the feeling of the smaller boy's surprisingly soft lips pressed against his own. He thought about the feeling of Naruto's body pressed

tightly against his own when he had carried his erstwhile rival carried him away from danger in the battle against Zabuza and Haku. And he

thought of the time when Group 7 camped by the lake the previous summer. He and Naruto had spontaneously taken off their clothes and

gone swimming, and Sasuke had glimpsed every last inch of the blonde's tight, compact body; his broad, dark cock, the tight muscles of

his stomach and chest, his light pink nipples, erect in the cool water, standing stark contrast to his smooth, slightly tanned skin. Naruto had

started a splashing war, and Sasuke had retaliated by grabbing the blonde boy and dunking him.

Sosuke imagined what it would have been like if the other boy had allowed him to do something else after he grabbed him, he could have

kissed his neck right there, then wrapped his arm around him and pressed his warm, wet body against the smaller boy's, then slid his long,

hard cock up his warm, firm ass.

Sasuke stroked harder, his fist tightly grasping his erection. His fantasies were less specific, just the feel of another body against his own,

his cock sliding in, pushing him closer and closer to orgasm.

Sasuke's mind suddenly went blank, and he came with a sigh. He lay there for a moment as cum flowed out in a puddle on his stomach,

then reached for the box of tissue on the bedside table. He cleaned himself up, then got dressed and went into the kitchen for breakfast,

feeling a tangible need to finally read Naruto's diary.

----

Half an hour later, Sasuke was sitting in his room, reading Naruto's diary. It seemed the whiskered ninja had begun writing in it about a 

year and ago, when they had started genin training. He began reading the first entry eagerly.

_We got our group assignments as genin today. I'm in the same group as Sakura! She still doesn't want to talk to me, though. I _

_asked her if she wanted to eat lunch with me, but she just blew me off, not even caring how much it hurt me. She wants Sasuke to_

_ go out with her, but he hates her, he thinks she's annoying. He hates me too. He hates me too. He hates everybody, and he's just _

_an asshole about it. He's in our group too, by the way. He especially hates me. I don't know why, I've never done anything to _

_him! I used Henge no jutsu to transform into him, and Sakura was about to kiss me 'cause she thought I was him, but I got _

_stomach cramps at that very moment! Damn expired milk!_

Sasuke smiled at Naruto's account of his antics, but he felt extremely guilty when the smaller boy wrote what he thought about him. It

seemed Naruto hated him just as much as he thought.

_Or at least he hated me a year ago_, the optimistic corner of his brain, which had miraculously survived years of deep depression,

whispered. He clung, against his best judgement, to the small hope that Naruto had had a change of heart in the past year.

Sasuke skimmed through most of the entries, only reading enough to catch the general mood of the entry, and only paying close attention

when he saw his name. As time progressed, it seemed Naruto had slowly given up on Sakura, and slowly grown more and more overcome

by frustration and despair because it seemed that Sasuke hated him. But it was the most recent entry that simoultaneously made his heart

pound with excitement and fall to the pit of his stomach. It was dated to a week ago, before they left on that last mission. The page was

spattered with tearstains.

_I'm not going to hide it any longer, not from myself or anyone else. I'm in love with Sasuke, and he thinks I'm pathetic. And he's _

_right. I'll never be good enough for him, and I'll never be good enough to be Hokage. I might as well just kill myself now and _

_save the village the trouble of defeating the demon fox again, 'because I know I'm not going to ever be strong enough to hold it _

_in once it wants to come out. I'm never strong enough or smart enough to do any good. Actually, I think I'm going to try to get _

_killed on the mission we leave for tomorrow. If I don't, I'll just find a nice pool of water, lie down, and inhale. That'll do everyone_

_ a favor._

As Sasuke read that last line, he nearly broke down crying. So that was why the blonde boy had been even more reckless than usual lately.

Naruto was going to kill himself, if he hadn't already, and it was his fault. He dropped the diary and rushed outside.

----

Less than a minute later, a slightly out-of-breath Sasuke arrived at Naruto's house on the other side of the village, slightly out of breath. He 

had run straight there from his house. Not bothering to even try knocking on the door, he took a running leap and jumped through the open

second-story window.

"Naruto-kun!" Sasuke called "Are you here?" He received no response, and proceeded to walk quickly through the house, looking for

signs of life. He had come in through the kitchen window, but there was nothing important in there. He headed into the bedroom, but still he

saw nothing, no blonde-haired corpse on the floor, no scribbled, tear-stained suicide note.

Sasuke hurried into the bathroom, but Naruto wasn't there. In fact, it would have been pretty hard for him to drown himself at home, as he

didn't even have a bathtub, just one of those showers in a glass cubicle.

"Shit" Sasuke swore and jumped back out the window. He hit the ground running, headed for the bathhouse for a moment, then stood and

thought for a moment as he realized that it was too public for a suicide attempt. He weighed his options for a while, then saw Sakura

walking past on the opposite side of the street.

"Sakura-chan!" he called, running over too her. "Have you seen Naruto?"

"Yeah, I saw him heading for the pond on the east side of the village, he looked pretty upset. Why?" She smiled in what was obviously

meant to be a flirtatious way.

"Never mind," He replied, then ran off towards the pond, pushing people out of the way without regard for anybody's health.

"Wonder what's up with him?" Sakura mused.

----

When Sasuke arrived at the pond a few minutes later, the first thing he noticed was Naruto, floating unconscious several yards out. Without

stopping to think, he stripped off his shirt and ran into the water, then swam out to the floating blonde ninja. He picked up his erstwhile rival

and carried him to the shore, noticing that Naruto was still warm, so he couldn't have been floating long.

Once he got to the edge of the pond, Sasuke lay Naruto down and checked his pulse. It was still going, but not nearly as strongly as it

should have been. He cursed, but was relieved to when the smaller boy started coughing up water. As the smaller boy slowly regained

consciousness, Sasuke helped him sit up and patted him on the back until it seemed most of the fluid was out. Once he was aware of his

surroundings, Naruto was amazed to see who his rescuer was.

"Sasuke? _You_ saved me?" Naruto whispered, "Why?"

"Because I love you." Sasuke smiled, and kissed his former rival gently on the lips.

* * *

A/N : Please review! Reviews make me feel special XD! 


	3. Happiness

Ok, sorry I took so long to update this, I had a big school project that was due last week, so I wax spending a lot of time on that. Even normally, I probably will only be able to update once or twice per month.

Warnings for this chapter: A lemon at the end. That's about all.

* * *

"Because… I love you."

Naruto could barely believe his ears. As Sasuke leaned down and their lips gently touched, he wrapped his arms around the taller boy, pressing their bodies tightly together. Naruto's lips were surprisingly soft and smooth, and Sasuke couldn't get enough of their sweet taste. After a few minutes, Sasuke gathered the wet, shivering blonde into his arms and they lay at the edge of the pond for a while, enjoying the closeness of their bodies.

"I love you too, Sasuke-kun." A rare smile appeared on the dark-haired boy's face as Naruto murmured into his chest. Both were exhausted, wet, and cold, but Sasuke had never been happier, and he sensed Naruto felt the same way. Sasuke felt like he could just fall asleep right there, with Naruto lying half on top of him, but he was abruptly jerked out of his happy place when the smaller boy was shaken by another spasm of coughs.

"We should get you back to the village and have a doctor check you out; you swallowed a lot of water."

"I don't want everybody to know, though…" whispered Naruto, "what I tried to do to myself, I mean."

"Don't worry about it, we can just tell them that you fell in on accident."

"Thanks." Naruto paused for a second. "So what caused your sudden change of heart, anyway? I thought you hated me."

"I thought _you_ hated _me_! I was putting on the act of not wanting anything to do with you because I thought you'd never love me back."

"I just wanted your respect… Maybe your friendship. I never really thought you'd ever feel the same way about me… that you'd love me too."

"Oh, but I do love you." Sasuke smiled and kissed the shorter boy again.

As they walked back to Hidden Leaf Village, Sasuke smiled and wrapped his arm around Naruto. Today had turned out far happier than he expected.

----

Sasuke floated back home in a joyful haze. _I kissed Naruto! And he kissed_ _me back!_ The mischievous shinobi had needed to spend the night in the hospital after his suicide attempt, but he was supposed to be feeling better by the next day.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura had spotted him from down the street.

"Sakura-chan." Sasuke wiped the uncharacteristic grin off his face in a hurry, replacing it with his usual curtain of disdainful hostility. He squeezed as much disdain as possible into those three syllables, but she didn't seem to notice.

"So, why were you looking for Naruto-kun earlier? And why are your clothes all wet?"

"It doesn't matter, he… er… he just stole some of my stuff, and I wanted to know what he did with it, OK? Why do you care anyway? It's not really any of your business."

"That idiot! He probably just did that to annoy you, he's obviously jealous of your superior ability." As usual, she was willfully ignoring half of what he said.

"Just shut up. You have no idea what you're talking about. He does stupid stuff like that because he wants attention; nobody ever pays any attention to him except to treat him like he's not even human. You all do it, you're cruel to him for no reason and all he ever did for you was save your lives!" Sasuke was nearly shouting by the end of that little tirade. Sakura looked at him for a second, and then ran off in tears.

Sasuke walked on, surprised by his own protective reaction when she abused Naruto. _I probably should start being nicer to people in general_, he mused, _but people in general should start being nicer to Naruto first._ He reached home and walked into his room, then shed his saturated clothes and put on a dry shirt and pants. Suddenly, the Uchicha heir was overwhelmed by emotional exhaustion, and flopped down on his bed. He laid there, thoughts of Naruto running through his head.

----

Sasuke woke up, feeling refreshed. He'd drifted off without realizing it. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table. 4:00, it read. _Where did the day go?_ He'd been asleep for at least a couple hours. The dark-haired boy got up, stretched, and saw Naruto's diary lying on the table.

_I should return this to his house before he gets back from the hospital. If I'm lucky, he won't even notice it missing._ He picked the notebook up, tucked it under his arm, and headed out the door. Weary of another unpleasant encounter with Sakura, Sasuke took back alleys and rooftops in order to get to Naruto's house.

The dark-haired shinobi leapt through the upstairs window once again, quickly making his way through the house to his erstwhile rival's bedroom. He placed the diary under Naruto's bed, then leapt back out the window, closing it behind him. He walked home slowly, and then collapsed on his bed again. With nothing better to do, he read until he fell asleep, wanting nothing more than for the next day to come so he could see Naruto again.

----

The following morning found Sasuke walking in the woods outside the village. He was determined to avoid Sakura, and anyway, he enjoyed the sun shining through the forest roof, the birds singing, and the feeling of quietness and being one with nature. It was probably as close as he got to a religious experience. Sasuke was militantly atheistic, and abhorred anything remotely related to the devout Shinto practiced by most of the village's older inhabitants.

His real reason for walking in the woods, however, was that he was nervous about meeting Naruto. The certainty he had felt for a few hours yesterday seemed to have disappeared with the diary and its physical proof of Naruto's love for him. Sasuke wasn't completely sure he hadn't dreamed yesterday's events, actually. But he figured he would find out soon enough; he was approaching Naruto's house, and if he hadn't dreamed what happened the previous day, the other boy should have been getting out of the hospital right then. If he was, then he would be coming home in a few minutes. Sasuke stood casually across the street from his supposed rival's house, one eye on the street. After about five minutes, the Uchicha heir saw an orange blur out of the corner of his eye. He raised his arms reflexively to a defensive stance, but Naruto was too fast for him.

"Sasuke-kun!" The blonde-haired cannonball slammed into the chocolate-eyed youth, putting him on the ground. Suddenly, Naruto was half sitting, half lying on top of him, his body firm and warm. Sasuke recoiled as the shorter boy attempted kiss him.

"Not here!" He said through clenched teeth, glancing around at the few people on the street. They were all staring at the two boys.

"Why not?" Naruto looked confused, but he reluctantly got off from on top of Sasuke.

"We're both guys. Do you want to get us lynched? Come on, let's go somewhere quieter." He got up and started walking off into the woods.

"Uh…sure." The blue-eyed boy grinned and followed him. They walked for a while, until they reached a clearing out of sight of the village.

Suddenly, Naruto pounced again. Sasuke laughed as he found himself on the ground beneath the other boy once more, and this time, when Naruto tried to kiss him, he didn't turn away. The blonde's lips were surprisingly soft, and he tasted like ramen. _No surprise there_, thought Sasuke to himself. He buried his hands in the other boy's hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. The feeling of the smaller boy's body pressed against his made him shiver with arousal. Naruto's tongue was teasing at his lower lip, begging for admittance, and he was more than happy to let it in. He moved his hands down the other boy's back to slowly massage Naruto's firm, tight ass as their tongues brushed against each other in a hungry, sensuous dance.

Sasuke arched up, simultaneously pulling the shorter boy's pelvis down to grind their hips together. By now, both their cocks had become erect, stretching the fabric of their pants taught. Naruto squirmed, pressing their bodies even tighter together, which caused Sasuke to make a happy sound into his mouth. The taller genin began undressing his partner, pulling off his trademark orange jacket, then the tight blue t-shirt underneath. He felt Naruto's hands tugging his shirt up, and he raised his arms, allowing the blonde to pull the unnecessary garment off over his head.

The kyuubi-boy's skin felt better against his own than Sasuke had ever imagined it would, warm and smooth and vital. He pressed Naruto into another kiss, hungrier and deeper this time, simultaneously kicking off his sandals. The smaller boy had lost his at some point too. Sasuke's hands moved from his erstwhile rival's ass to pull down the other boy's trademark baggy orange pants. He felt Naruto break the kiss, but was taken by surprise when the blonde pulled off his shorts and boxers in one fell swoop, and even more surprised when he felt the tip of his erect cock sucked into the other boy's warm, wet mouth.

"Is everything all right, Sasuke-kun? Are you sure you want to do this?" Naruto must have him tense up, because he had stopped sucking and looked up.

"Uh… yeah." _If only you knew how long I'd been waiting for it._ "Actually… er… I want to give you pleasure like that, too."

"Okay." Naruto grinned. He stood up, and then stripped off his boxers with only the smallest hint of self-consciousness. Sasuke took the time to admire the other boy, who was just as beautiful as he'd remembered. He had smooth, lightly tanned skin, broken only by the spiral-shaped scar near his navel, and his cock had gotten broader since Sasuke had glimpsed it the previous summer. Wiry muscles from years of ninja training were evident in his chest and arms.

When Naruto lay back down, he moved so that his crotch was above Sasuke's head, but mouth was still hovering over the taller boy's tense, hard cock. The blonde ninja wasted no time and quickly resumed pleasuring Sasuke, licking, sucking and teasing. Sasuke, however, was a bit unsure what to do with the not-exactly-tiny organ hanging in front of his face. He was extremely conscious of the grass beneath him, still slightly slick with dew, and the shivers of pleasure caused by Naruto's mouth on his cock. He wanted to give the other boy that same pleasure, but he wasn't sure he knew how.

Eventually, Sasuke screwed up his courage and just put the whole thing in his mouth, sucking as hard as he could while being sure to keep his teeth out of the way. He reached up and grabbed Naruto's ass again, pulling the shorter boy's crotch down towards him. Even the other boy's cock tasted good, sweet and salty. It felt very warm as it filled his mouth. The fine golden hairs around his cock and balls tickled Sasuke as they brushed against his face. He could feel them both tensing up as Naruto started massaging his balls with his hands, and instinctively sucked harder.

Finally, Naruto took the entire length of Sasuke's manhood into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it one last time, making the brunette's vision white out as he arched up and came in the other boy's mouth. A few seconds later, Naruto also came, flooding Sasuke's mouth with warm, thick, salty-tasting fluid.

As every muscle in his body relaxed and he lay on the ground in a post-orgasmic daze, Naruto rolled off him and crawled around so that their faces were again close together. Sasuke wrapped one arm around the smaller boy, and they exchanged a few sleepy kisses before drifting off to sleep.

------

Soon after that, Hatake Kakashi woke up from an outdoor nap sitting in a tree. He moved through the treetops towards the village, skirting a certain clearing a few hundred yards from his destination. A chance look at the forest floor revealed a site that almost shocked even the renowned pervert-sensei; Sasuke and Naruto, lying on the ground cuddled up together, both stark naked and evidently asleep.

_Well, that's certainly interesting, _thought Kakashi; _I wonder what Iruka would think of it?_

_

* * *

_Well, what do you think? I still don't have a beta, so if anybody'd be willing to do that, it'd be a great help. If you don't want to, reviewing and just giving constructive criticism, or just pointing out typos and grammar mistakes would be very much appreciated .


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